Coping Skills: Building Resilience and Self-Awareness in a Busy Home

ByHomeschool OT

As an occupational therapist, I often remind parents that a busy home naturally comes with big emotions. Moments of joy, frustration, and everything in between are part of daily life—and they’re also opportunities to help children build coping skills. Coping skills are the tools kids use to manage stress, regulate emotions, and recover from disappointment or frustration.

You can help your child develop these skills by making a plan together. For example: “When you feel mad about LEGO towers, what can you do instead?” After emotional moments, check in: “Did taking a break help? What might you try next time?” The key is to teach and practice coping strategies when everyone is calm, not in the heat of the moment.

Coping Means What Works for YOUR Child

This week on the OT is IN podcast, we hosted Janine Hollaran, licensed mental health counselor and author. She reminded us that coping skills aren’t one-size-fits-all. Every child, just like every adult, might need something different to manage their big feelings and stressful situations. She defines coping skills as “the strategies we use to deal with big feelings, overwhelming thoughts, stressful situations”

And while some children need to move their bodies to get the wiggles (or anger) out, others may need to talk through what’s happening, take some deep breaths, or curl up with a favorite book. The key? Coping skills should be healthy and safe—not, as Janine quipped, knocking down someone else’s LEGO tower when you’re mad!

Ages, Stages, and the Messy Middle

TThink about how many “firsts” your child is experiencing—not just first steps or words, but first frustration, sadness, or friendship struggles. As Janine reminds us, we should expect emotions (and their expression) to be big when kids are small. There’s no perfectly calm classroom or living room; real life is more like a symphony of needs and emotions colliding at once.

Coping skills grow alongside executive functioning—the brain-based abilities that help kids manage emotions, think flexibly, and monitor their behavior. As Smart but Scattered explains, these skills take years to develop, which is why both toddlers and teens can swing between calm and chaos. The ability to cope strengthens through consistent support, modeling, and practice, as children learn to connect their feelings with actions and gradually build emotional control.

Digital Life: Same Emotions, New Landscape

Janine spoke about the two “languages” kids need today: social skills for in-person life and for navigating text, video calls, or social media. The digital age hasn’t changed the need for coping skills, but it has changed the ways feelings get triggered and how kids interact.

Screen time can affect how your child feels in their body—think clenched fists after too many YouTube shorts or a general funk after scrolling social media. Janine and host Sarah Collins both advocate for intentional “screen fasts” to help kids recognize what their bodies and brains feel like with and without devices. More importantly, let your child discover for themselves what helps them feel better. To hear more about this concept, listen to episode 19 of the OT is IN with Dr. Victoria Dunkley or read about our family’s personal experience in this blog post.

Practice Makes Progress, Not Perfection

Maybe you’re tired of saying “take a deep breath,” only to be met with resistance. Janine reminds us it’s okay to step back. Knowing the coping skill is only part of the process—the real growth comes through practice and patience.

Instead of telling, try asking. Reflexive questioning, as explained by Tera Sumpter, speech language pathologist, helps children engage their executive functioning by thinking through problems and generating their own solutions. Questions like, “When you feel mad about LEGO towers, what could you do instead?” or “Did taking a break help?” invite reflection rather than compliance. The goal isn’t to quiz or correct, but to guide your child in noticing what works. And remember—the best time for these conversations is when everyone is calm, not in the middle of the storm.

Let Your Child Lead (With Gentle Guidance)

Janine’s process for developing her resources is all about gathering what truly works. She consults research, listens closely to her clients, and tries everything herself. And she’s transparent that sometimes, what worked yesterday might not help today. Some kids layer their strategies—movement and breathing, crocheting and music. Others need a single, simple strategy. It’s okay to try, to fail, and to adapt.

You are building resilience (and so are your kids), even in the midst of what might feel like absolute chaos.

Encouragement for the Journey

Parenting through big feelings might never be a picture of perfect calm, but every tantrum survived, every sibling squabble navigated, and every brave try at a coping skill is a building block for lifelong emotional health.

Let’s model discovery, self-compassion, and flexibility, knowing that the foundation you’re building now—amid all the noise, mess, and love—will help your children thrive, both on and off the screen.

OT is IN #80: Raising Resilient Kids: Coping Skills and Emotional Regulation in the Digital Age

I’m joined by the incredible Janine Halloran—a licensed counselor with over 20 years of experience supporting children and families as they build their coping toolkits.

Janine has dedicated her career to developing accessible, effective resources for families, from workbooks and activity cards to evidence-based strategies you can use at home. In our conversation, she shares her personal journey into counseling, why healthy coping skills are so essential, and how every child’s way of managing emotions is unique. We dig into what parents can expect at different developmental stages, how the digital age is changing the way kids regulate emotions, and why having a variety of coping options is so important.

Whether you’re a parent, educator, or therapist, you’ll walk away with practical insights on helping kids handle life’s stresses in healthy, safe ways—and maybe even a few new ideas for yourself! Stay tuned as we explore the colorful world of coping skills with Janine Halloran.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

  • Janine’s journey to becoming a counselor
  • Experience as a school counselor and focus on coping skills
  • Development of resources (checklists, workbooks, card decks)
  • Core mission: teaching coping skills to kids, teens, and adults
  • Defining Coping Skills
  • Janine’s definition: strategies for dealing with big feelings, thoughts, and stressful situations
  • Healthy vs. unhealthy coping skills
  • Example for children: handling frustration during play without harming others
  • The Individual Nature of Coping
  • Emphasis on the need for personalized coping strategies
  • Importance of finding what’s helpful for each individual
  • Developmental and Cultural Norms in Emotional Regulation
  • Children’s first experiences with emotions
  • Emotional intensity in young children and its developmental trajectory
  • Brain development periods: toddlers and teens
  • Variability in emotional regulation based on age and development stage
  • Variability in Coping from Day to Day
  • Reasons for inconsistent coping ability (e.g., sleep, stress, environment)
  • Parental expectations vs. daily reality
  • Helping Kids Identify and Label Emotions
  • The importance of naming and talking about emotions from a young age
  • Using books and media (e.g., Bluey, Mo Willems books) as conversation starters
  • The Digital Age and Changing Coping Skills
  • Impact of growing up in a digital era (in-person vs. online interactions)
  • Learning and managing social skills in virtual environments
  • Emotional regulation during digital activities (e.g., video games, social media)
  • Recognizing when digital engagement becomes unhealthy
  • Family Communication and Screen Time
  • Importance of open communication about screen habits
  • Understanding each child’s unique interaction with screens
  • Aligning digital habits with family values
  • Practical Example: Screen Fasting
  • Host’s experience with family “screen fasts”
  • Observations and outcomes from time off screens
  • Children’s awareness of their own emotions and self-regulation post-fast
  • Developing and Choosing Coping Skills Strategies
  • Janine’s process for developing resources
  • Iterative development based on real-world results
  • Challenges of implementing coping skills in the heat of the moment
  • Importance of practice and early intervention
  • Using visuals and making concrete plans for expected stressors
  • Post-challenge reflection: what worked, what didn’t

Links and Resources From Today’s Show

Connect With Our Guest, Janine Halloran

Janine Halloran is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor who has been working with children, teens, and their families for over 20 years. She has been helping children and teens build their coping skills throughout her career in a variety of settings, including schools, mental health clinics and in her private practice. She founded Coping Skills for Kids to help children and teens learn healthy and safe ways to manage big feelings. She has written several books, including the bestselling Coping Skills for Kids Workbook, the Coping Skills for Teens Workbook and the Social Skills for Kids Workbook. She is also the host of the Calm & Connected Podcast and the founder of the Coping Skills Community Hub. Her work has been featured in the Boston Globe, CNN, Huffington Post, and The Skimm Newsletter. Janine lives in Massachusetts with her husband and two children.

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